My mother read all the books I was assigned; you can do that sort of thing if you don’t spend half your life watching TV. We discussed them over dinner and whenever she felt an assignment was ridiculous or useless, she would explain her opinion to me, not the teacher, and then we’d make fun of the Teacher’s Edition interpretation.

I read Tom Sawyer, Witch Week, Lolita and MacBeth and I didn’t turn into a racist, spell-casting whore who murders guests in their sleep. While I admit Faulkner’s Sanctuary sparked an interest in self-defense, I was far from traumatized by it.

Having taught refugees English idioms and American culture, however, I find myself more and more explaining these common literary references to born-Americans simply so they can get more enjoyment out of jokes they missed on the Simpsons because their parents wouldn’t let them read controversial books which form the basis of our collective culture. I find that disturbing.

Need and control.

Parents do need to be part of their child’s education, but not so much that it becomes a form of control.

For me, needing to be part of my son’s education was more a desire to watch him grow intellectually as well as emotionally. That when he felt confused, or was questioning a decision or idea, I had some clue as to what was going on and could be as supportive and informative as I could if he chose to disucss it with me.

By the time they are in high school, teens have been exposed to much more than we think. Another reason I wanted to be involved, but not at the point of controlling. I reserved that aspect of my parenting for things such as abiding by a curfew, expectations that homework and chores would be done as required, to adhere to a set of ethics not simply of my own choosing, but those that make all of us a productive member of society.

As for abortion, murder, homosexuality, etc. he drew his own conclusions regardless (not in spite of) of my own opinions. It amazes me that in some respects we can differ so much, yet the respect we have for each other keeps those differences from ever becoming contentious.

I truly believe that this is because I have always been involved in, but not controlling, my son’s education and, more importantly, his life.

I guess to condense this “rambling” of mine:

Parents do need to be involved. But as for control and regulation? I agree, when they are younger as they are simply too immature. As teenagers, we must begin to step back and allow them the space to grow into the adults they are soon to become.

Not that I could ever be accused of being an indulgent parent. On the contrary, the stories of my over-protectiveness are legendary. Hey, I’m a mom. It’s like a rule or something.

The thing is, books are all about ideas. I see teenagers as being capable of evaluating the merits of an idea–maybe not as fully as someone with more life experience, but they don’t take everything at face value the way little kids do. Therefor it boggles my mind that parents would want to control their teenage children to the point where they would want to regulate the very ideas that their kids are exposed to. Kinda psycho, imo.