That All Too Familiar Paved Road

I guess in everything we undertake, we possess some sense of accountability. If not to others, then to ourselves.

November of this year was my two year blogiversary. Since then, I’ve contemplated quitting. Several times.

Why? Loss of focus, motivation, and understanding.

The last point is where I’ll start first.

Keeping Up Is Hard To Do

I thought I knew what I wanted when I began in 2007. As I grew in knowledge and found others who enjoyed similar interests and pursuits, I found that what I wanted to accomplish morphed into something nearly 180 degrees from where I started.

I liked what other, more experienced bloggers were doing, and I wanted the same, if not better.

I was fine with that.

Until social networking, and the apparent need for it, became something that was taking up all of my time, and where I was spending most of my efforts.

Talk about a quick burn out. Between monitoring TweetDeck, my Google Reader, and Google Alerts, I soon found myself drifting away from blogging. I was watching, reading, tweeting, trying to keep up with others and stay ‘visible’. But I was hardly doing that which brought me to this place in the beginning: blogging about books and literary issues.

It was during this mess of “trying to keep up with the Joneses” I lost focus and subsequently my motivation.

Not reading mind you. Never. It is part of my genetic make-up to love books and what they have to offer.

My struggle has been with sharing this love, this vocation, with others through the medium of the internet.

To Thine Own Self Be True

I recently realized that trying to keep up with it all is an empty illusion and a waste of resources. At least in the extremes it has become. No amount of time I spend on Twitter, Google, or Facebook is going to make or break my blog.

Only its author has that ability. It is through dedication or neglect that any good or bad happens.

I am now reworking my dedication to this blog, and how I wish to develop and promote it; if it needs any kind of promotion at all.

This is not a revenue generating site and never will be. It may lead to ventures that could produce income, but I made a vow long ago this blog would not be anything more than a hobby.

This is the vision to which I need to remain true. This is, and should be, what keeps me going. Not how many comments I get and from whom. Not how many hits I get a day, a week, or a month.

Books, literacy, and commentary are where my focus should be.

I am working hard on a way to get back there. To stop juggling so much. (I wish I could say I could stop juggling period, but realistically, life doesn’t work that way.) Right now, I just need to get rid of a couple of balls. Or at least minimize their weight so they are more easily handled.

The road to anywhere is paved with good intentions. Somehow I strayed off the path. Now is the time for me to find solid ground again and continue.